The answer to 'What happened next?'

John Terry, the kickee, was eventually stretchered off the field. Typical British understatement, the announcers said it appeared to be serious and that he was having 'short-term memory' problems. Amazingly, 90 minutes later he got on the team bus for the return trip to London. The amazing NHS (National Health Service) performs another miracle. It is obvious that the kicker is quite distressed by the whole situation.

What happened next?

This photograph is from yesterday's Carling Cup match between Chelsea and Arsenal. Chelsea won the match 2-1. The question is what happened immediately after this photograph was taken? Answer tomorrow.

Sunday evening sermon

My Sunday evening sermons at Central URC usually head off in some unorthodox directions. I have just been reading Robert Funk's book, Honest to Jesus. In it he writes about how the New Testament writers spent quite a bit of time domesticating Jesus and how it requires a great deal of 'detective work' if we are to attempt to get back to anything close to his original teachings.

Tomorrow evening I am going to talk about how Jesus' teachings and aphorisms about bread were diluted to be marketable to a wider group of believers. I happened across this greeting card which will be included in the service sheet as a point of discussion. For those of you who won't be attending the service this is my second example of some non-pious Lenten humour.

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The curse of CNN and Fox News. . .

Now that all news, all the time stations are carried by satellite throughout the world Brits get ample opportunity to watch news events in the USA. Unfortunately, Judge Seidlin's antics were shown here on primetime. This is one of those times I wish I could ditch the American accent.

Some things to think about during Lent -Count your blessings*

Every year 1.6 million of the world's poorest people die from respiratory infections aggravated by smoke from open fires in their homes.

Added together, the gross domestic product of the poorest 48 nations (a quarter of the world's countries) is less than the combined wealth of the world's three richest people.

60% of adults in Senegal are unable to read.

Half the world's population lives on less than £1.10 a day.

In Angola, 26 of every 100 children die before reaching their fifth birthday.

£1.7 billion extra money is needed each year to provide clean drinking water for everyone on Earth. £46 billion is the amount spent each year on bottled water.

* Data provided by Christian Aid

Sentimental teddy bear
Unsentimental greeting card

Antonyms illustrated

Jessica sent Maurene a lovely teddy bear with a box of Godiva chocolates for Valentine's Day. Maurene enjoyed the heart-shaped chocolates but was more touched by the deep sentiments that it expressed.

In the interest of providing educational opportunities for this blog's readers, I offer a visual example of an antonym.

Maurene rests her tired legs at the end of our four-mile climb.

Ash Wednesday: Part II

Maurene and I are still on holiday. So this morning we climbed out of Bath and ended up at a convenient pub which is about four miles from our starting point. We are certainly enjoying a break from the hectic pace. Maurene is about half-way through War and Peace.

ASH WEDNESDAY

In Matthew's gospel Jesus cautions about 'practicing your piety before others.' I always feel a bit sheepish placing ashes on congregants foreheads when Matthew also has Jesus saying, 'When you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may not be seen by others, but by [God] who is in secret'.

So, in the interest of not appearing too gloomy or humourless in this solemn season I offer a delightful greeting card that I discovered yesterday. Actually, I have a few more that I'll place periodically on this blog during the next forty days.

I definitely cannot be accused of practicing my piety.

Shrove Tuesday Supper -not real butter!

HAPPY SHROVE TUESDAY!

Molly, we hardly knew ye

Devon's famous Otter Ale
The result of binge drinking

SHROVE TUESDAY IN BATH

Since our holiday began last Wednesday, Maurene and I have been monitoring one another to make sure that we didn't work. There are always loose ends to be tied up when you are a minister and we have been quite intentional about trying to actually avoid that habitual return to task for this period of 10 days. We each had one ministerial duty to accomplish during this ten day period. Yesterday, Maurene officiated at a funeral. Tomorrow, I will take the Ash Wednesday service for our three churches. Things were going well until yesterday morning, Maurene began searching through the computer for her Women's Worldwide Day of Prayer sermon because she had thought of something she needed to add. I retaliated by writing a letter for the church magazine. I already have a second task ready in case she does anymore work before Friday -I'll call one of the Brownie leaders to prepare for the 4 March Anniversary Service.

But for today, I have had to fend for myself without succumbing to the temptation of working. Maurene is taking a pain management class at the Royal Mineral Water Hospital and so I am having to keep myself busy.

My day so far:

I walked for two hours on the Cotswald Way slipping and sliding in the mud as a trekked both uphill and down.

Then I changed out of my muddy kit and walked into the city centre to take care of some banking.

I then went to Schwartz Bros. and had a cheeseburger and fries. My red meat consumption is minimal because of my father's clogged arteries -which were only discovered a week before his death, my brother's extensive bypass operation, and my own fear of dying and guilt over using up more than my fair share of the planet's resources. I would like to say that I struggled while eating, but it was one of the most delicious cheeseburgers I have ever tasted. It lived up to its billing!

Since Schwartz Bros. is a take-away only, I went to the local park and sat on a bench and enjoyed the daffodils as they waved in the mild southerly breeze. I also read a bit of today's newspaper and was saddened to read the obituary for Molly Ivins. US news is often slow in getting coverage in the UK. She was one of my favourite journalists.

In her honour, I then retired to 'The Bell'. It is the lefty pub here in Bath and is filled most evenings with idealistic university students who have just finished reading 'Das Kapital' and over 40s who although they have lost most of their idealism like to get together and discuss how the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Remember, being a socialist isn't criminal in the UK.

The Bell's less than upscale decorating reflects the poverty of most of its clientele. I had an Otter Ale and enjoyed more of the newspaper whilst watching a man struggle to keep his dog underfoot every time the front door opened. I also picked up a couple of the coasters that adorned the table. Fortunately, I am past the point in life where I enjoy, or can even withstand getting 'ottered'.

Tonight, Maurene and I will have a 'Shrove Tuesday' pancake supper. No Bisquick. We're using pre-packaged Scotch pancakes. No Aunt Jemima or Mrs. Butterworth's. We'll be using Canadian Maple Syrup. No bacon or sausage -I think Schwartz Bros. was sufficient.

Daffodils at the side of the trail as we headed back to Minehead.

The Yarn Market in Dunster (built in 1609) Maurene is at the far right peering into a shop window looking at things we can't afford.

Maurene at the starting point of the South West Coastal Path (over 600 miles long). We decided to pass on it this time.

The harbour at Minehead

Holiday Photographs

Have you ever had to sit through someones miserably long slide show of a recent vacation? Well, since our holiday away from Bath was relatively short, only two days, I'll only put up a couple of photographs.

We were slightly disappointed with Minehead (on the west Somerset Coast). But it is right on the edge of Exmoor National Park with its fabulous hiking trails; so we got in one eight mile trek to Dunster and Ron got in a rain soaked climb this morning.

The rest of our holiday will be spent in Bath.

Rule, Britannia!

Australia's Captain, Ricky Ponting is bowled out and leaves the field with his head hanging in shame

A wicket taken by the Aussies

What an upset!

When we first moved to the UK I thought cricket was about as exciting as watching paint dry. But as the years have passed, I have begun to enjoy it almost by osmosis. We have a lovely cricket ground in the heart of Bath and it is a wonderful way to pass a few hours.

The sport is rather slow, like baseball, and is quite strategic. So, in watching a match, you find yourself able to think about what is happening on the field with enough time left for an occasional nap. Great stuff.

Anyway, the match at hand was Australia v England in the Tri-Nations One Day Internationals. The 'tri' of the nations was New Zealand, the first team to be eliminated. Ten days ago, England were longshots 200-1 to take the title from the Aussies. But unbelievably, the Brits won the best two out of three series with one game to spare. Sadly, I didn't put a few quid on the match! The matches were held in Australia, so they began in the middle of the night here in England (11 hour time difference).

I caught bits of the matches on the TV and Radio between domestic duties, church duties and worship services!

The 'Great Bath' with the Bath Abbey in the background

Gorgon's Head: Romano Celtic Head from the Pediment of the Temple of Sulis Minerva

The Roman Baths

After 347 days of living in Bath, Maurene and I finally decided to go to the Roman Baths and have a look around. The baths are located in the heart of the city and are Bath's primary tourist draw. Three quarter of a million people visited last year. The Romans invaded Britain in 43 AD and the baths were created shortly after their arrival. They drained the muddy swamp that surrounded the hot springs and created a complex of baths, a temple, and the surrounding precincts during the 60s and 70s. Long forgotten during the Dark Ages, the baths have been excavated and restored over the last couple of centuries. Roman artifacts are still found throughout Bath in a wide variety of locations.

Needless to say, we enjoyed our first visit. As residents of Bath we get in for free! And we also can 'take the waters' at the Bath Pump Room, gratis, as well. That is another story for another time! The website for the Roman Baths is http://www.romanbaths.co.uk/.

If White Castle only used this mustard they would have the perfect hamburger!

British Sausage, Finger Rolls (no hot dog buns or hot dogs in the UK) and Walker's Crisps: Ron's lunch 7 February 2007

MUSTARD OF THE GODS

My cousin Mark sent Maurene and I three bottles of Bertman Original Ball Park Mustard. Since Mark is something of a connoisseur of mustard, I hurriedly purchased some fine British sausage (also known as bangers) and tried out the official mustard of Jacob's Field, and alas the old Municipal Stadium. Mark was right. I have to admit that it outshines even Colman's Mustard which is the standard by which all mustard should be measured.

I also found out that there is a Mustard Museum in Mt. Horeb (the 'Mountain of God' in Hebrew Scriptures) Wisconsin. It appears to be near Dubuque, Iowa and I might have to make a quick visit in September when we're back in the states.

Again, Mark has opened my eyes to things I could only imagine.

A little mid-match, midfield repair job (Republic of Ireland v Wales)

Wouldn't it just be easier to pull his hair (Italy v France)

No grabbing the facemask penalties in rugby (from Italy v France)
Now that the excitement of the Super Bowl is past. . .

On this side of the Atlantic the Republic of Ireland, England, Wales, Scotland, France and Italy are engaged in the Six Nations Rugby matches. Each nation plays the five other participating nations and the winner is the team which has the best overall record. This round-robin tournament is an annual event and all of the matches are carried live on the Beeb. If these guys were as big as the NFL players the sport would be banned. It is brutal and played without padding except for the occasional leather helmet. The photographs above are from this past weekend's action.

Bears fans react to the post-game rumour that Rex Grossman has been traded to the Cleveland Browns for a 15th Round draft choice
Colts fans celebrate on Washington Street (soon to be re-named Rex Grossman Boulevard)
Complete Super Bowl Coverage below

Happy

Sad

Gross, man!

Tank Johnson -Official Team Photograph

Stan Fox imitating Rex Grossman

My take on Super Bowl XLI. . .

Tank Johnson, who should have been in prison instead of at Super Bowl LXI, should have brought his arsenal of weapons, his ammunition, and Pit Bulls to the game with him. That might have helped his teammates stop the onslaught of the Colts.

Why will there be no more Cubs in Chicago? Because all of the Bears got castrated whilst they were in Miami.

The BBC did interviews with Chicagoans and fine folks from Indianapolis in the run-up to Super Bowl LXI. The folks from Indy kept saying how excited they were to make the big game and admitted that prior to the Colts arriving in Indianapolis they had been Bears fans. In other words, most gracious. Not so, the fans from Chicago. Several of the residents of the Windy City made derogatory remarks about the suburban status of the Circle City. They even made fun of the Indianapolis 500, with one person saying that people in Indianapolis never 'got anywhere in life' because they only drove in circles. Well, Chicagoans need to be a bit more informed about the 'Greatest Spectacle in Racing' because Rex Grossman (apt name) did an amazing impersonation of Stan Fox trying to negotiate southwest corner at the speedway.

FEBRUARY 4, 2007

On the morning of February 4th the Secretary of the Environmental Protection Agency asked for an emergency meeting with President Bush. The President, thinking the Secretary might have additional information from the recent UN Report agreed, even though such a hurriedly called meeting wasn't usual White House practice.

The Secretary requested that the President immediately place another animal on the endangered species list. The President informed the Secretary that he still wasn't convinced in the efficacy of global warming. The Secretary informed him that this had nothing to do with global warming but was caused by an act of environmental terrorism. The word terrorism got his attention.

'What animal is it?' the President asked.

'Bears,' was the Secretary's solemn answer.

President Bush protested, 'But I've already declared them an endangered species.'

'Not Polar Bears, Sir. Chicago Bears.'

The president, remembering that Illinois had voted against him in the 2004 election, that it was the home state of Hillary Clinton and elected Senator Barack Obama simply said that there was nothing he could do.

Later that day, all of the Chicago Bears were slaughtered in Miami.

It's the first decision that George Bush has made with which I can fully agree.

Another accurate downfield pass by Rex Grossman

A NEW ACRONYM

Chastised

Hounded

Immolated

Conquered

Asphixiated

Gored or Grossmanned -added to dictionary 4 February 2007

Obliterated

Bludgeoned

Eradicated

Annihilated

Routed

Stunned

This is what a Rex Grossman would look like if he played cricket.

Ron -feeling as good as he looks

Maurene gracefully negotiates a stile

Disinterested sheep

Following the path along a ridge

Maurene heading uphill -the village of Weston lies below

THE COTSWOLD WAY

The Cotswold Way is one of the United Kingdom's fine walking paths. Measuring 102 miles from Bath to Chipping Campden it winds through the hills, valleys, and ridges that make up this area of southwestern England. It has been a walking trail for thirty years but received national trail status in the spring of 2005.

I plan to take 10 day holiday sometime in the not-to-distant future and walk it in its entirety. The path begins in the city centre at the famous Bath Abbey and passes within a drive and an 8 iron from our house. Today, Maurene and I decided to walk a bit of it since we had a rare Friday off!

Richard 'Beau' Nash

CASINO GAMBLING RETURNS TO BATH

Bath has been buzzing the last few days. The Prime Minister's committee on gambling has awarded Bath with one of its 8 small casinos. Small meaning no more than 80 slot machines. The religious community in Bath had approached the situation from what we thought was a progressive angle. We didn't moralise about the 'evils' of gambling, we simply asked what the city fathers and mothers were going to do deal with the most vulnerable who would be affected by a bank of slot machines right in the city centre.

In 1705, Richard 'Beau' Nash arrived in Bath from London. A gambler and womaniser who had been unsuccessful at everything else he'd turned his hand to, Nash discovered that his wit, manners and skill at the card table made him ideal for the job of Bath's Master of Ceremonies. With great zeal and style he set about cleaning up the streets and enforcing a code of manners for Bath's burgeoning social scene (as opposed to its anti-social scene, which was still dominated by the cudgel, the gin bottle and the brothel). from the Naked Guide to Bath by Gideon Kibblewhite

Well, we still have a brothel or two (or so I've heard), on weekend evenings the city centre is filled with binge drinking university students, and we still have our share of pickpockets who prey upon our tourists but don't use cudgels. I'm wondering if I should apply for the twenty-first century position of Master of Ceremonies. My refined manners and dignified bearing might finally be put to good use.